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Blogs > hornyguyMN > Inside my head

Watching others move on.  

hornyguyMN 43M
2355 posts
2/28/2013 10:24 am
Watching others move on.

I have what might be a bit of an odd question to ask. But this is possibly a slightly unique situation.

Yes this has to do with my ex, any of you have have been following my blog for the last year know about her I'm sure. I wont rehash anything here, I will just make a not that I'm still crazy about her and would do just about anything for her. Even if I have found another woman I could see myself dating (who turned me down by the way, but that is neither here nor there).

Anyways, Kittie is moving on and is now in a new relationship with someone. I have seen it coming for awhile now. I recognized the way she would look at and interact with this person. This is a person that I have no problems with, don't know them particularly well, but from everything I have seen is a good person.

Thing is I'm kind of at odds with myself about this. Part of me is happy for them both. I've never wanted to see Kittie anything but happy. And watching from afar she seems to be happy with this person.

But at the same time it is still hard for me to not be one of the people in her life helping to enhance the happy in her life.

So what I'm getting at is, is it normal for me to be of two minds about this like I am? Or am I just cracked and should choose a side here?

demonicsexkitten 49F
10694 posts
2/28/2013 5:47 pm

 I'd say I believe it's normal. Assuming you truly cared about her, at any rate.


hornyguyMN replies on 2/28/2013 7:11 pm:
One correction, no past tense. I still do care about her. Even if I did inadvertently manage to piss her off to the point that she will barely talk to me anymore, and even that is only in group situations.

demonicsexkitten 49F
10694 posts
2/28/2013 10:47 pm

 I'm of the belief that love never dies. If you truly love somebody: a part of you will always care. Of course... I've been accused of "never letting anybody go" (and that's supposedly why I'm still single). I know some people that when they break up with somebody (whoever's at fault, if anybody)... they are then past history. They turn themselves off. I just can't do that.


hornyguyMN replies on 3/1/2013 8:37 am:
I've never understood how people can turn themselves off. Once I start to care, unless there is some kind of huge betrayal (see the woman that used the "L" word on me then after sleeping with me decided that she couldn't handle the distance thing, from years ago), then I will always care for them.

LadyUnlaced 49F
34177 posts
3/1/2013 5:24 am

 It's perfectly normal. I have the same feelings about Andrew and knowing he is going to move on (probably sooner rather than later.) I want him to be happy. I don't think he will be happy with his ex though and that is a major source of turmoil for me. But in the end, it's his life and I can't make choices for him.
Free your mind. Open your heart. Move a mountain. An Open Book...

***


hornyguyMN replies on 3/1/2013 8:38 am:
It is still odd for me to think about how similar (yet still different) our situations are on this. But your right we can't make someone elses choices for them. All we can do is be supportive and let them know we still care.

sugar4you1980 43F
5077 posts
3/4/2013 6:20 pm

 I think that it is perfectly normal for you to feel this way. Let me put this into perspective. Last summer that baby daddy finally met a woman that I actually liked. We haven't been together in many years and yet I was still holding on to hope that he would change and the past would go away and that things could work for us again. Time is the only thing that will lessen the urges that you hold on to. Stop looking back and hold your head high. There will be others. This one was just special to you.
The most important thing you can wear is the expression on your face!


hornyguyMN replies on 3/4/2013 7:32 pm:
Thanks Princess (yep I remember the nickname ). I have never doubted that there would be others. Heck I knew when I got involved with her that the relationship came with an exploration date, I just didn't know when it was and wasn't expecting it to come as soon as it did.

smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
3/4/2013 8:17 pm

 It's normal to feel conflicted about it. In the kiss-off conversation that I just had this evening, I closed with, "I wish you the best" and I meant it. But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't still probably be miserable if I was confronted with seeing him with someone else.

I think I might have seen her with the new person at the munch I was at last week. And yes, they were being pretty lovey-dovey so I totally understand where that would be hard for you.

Obviously this is just going to take a lot of time for you to completely put this behind you. Well, time or falling madly in love with someone else


hornyguyMN replies on 3/5/2013 9:24 am:
Yeah you probably did see them together at that munch. I knew I was would see it there which was a big reason I decided not to go to that one.

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