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Blogs > hornyguyMN > Inside my head

"Poly" feelings question  

hornyguyMN 43M
2355 posts
1/31/2013 12:44 pm
"Poly" feelings question

This one goes out specifically to my poly readers (though I value anyone’s input). My question today is about having feelings for multiple people when society as a whole says you should only love one person.

I’ve never personally identified as poly. I may or may not have mentioned it here before, but I prefer the term “polyflexible” for myself. Meaning that I don’t identify as poly, but I am not closed to the idea of being in a poly-like relationship (as long as I know that is what I am getting into from the get go).

There is a common misconception out there that poly is all about sex. Even some of the people I’ve met who claim to be poly seem to think that. However it has always been explained to me as being not about sex, but about having feelings for and maintaining meaningful relationships with multiple people (all the sex is just a perk).

That is what I think will make my poly readers uniquely qualified to answer this question. How do you separate your feelings for one partner from your feelings for another? Are they completely independent from each other(s)? Or do they all fall into one big mixed bag for you? This is a question I have been contemplating for a long time now.

LadyUnlaced 49F
34177 posts
1/31/2013 5:00 pm

 My feelings for one person don't have anything to do with another. So they are separate. Let me know if you want to talk about it more
Free your mind. Open your heart. Move a mountain. An Open Book...

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hornyguyMN replies on 1/31/2013 7:24 pm:
I'm always interested in talking and learning about things.

AudioFilly 58F  
1897 posts
1/31/2013 6:33 pm

 I don't identify myself as poly necessarily however I am in love with two men. My feelings for each are separate.

It's pretty much the same as having two sisters. I feel differently about each as individuals even though we are one big family.


hornyguyMN replies on 1/31/2013 7:25 pm:
Thanks for the input Red. I was wondering if there would be a difference between romantic love and the love for your family.

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