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| Blogs > myelin36 > Dirty Little Secrets |
The Link Between Sex and Mindfulness
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The Link Between Sex and Mindfulness Have you ever stopped to listen to the commentary that runs through your mind? Yesterday I was reminded of how intrusive and debilitating our thoughts can be. I was at the gym in the ladies locker room when a woman I had never met before struck up a conversation with me. "I feel so much better after I work-out but the entire time, I think about all of the things I should be doing instead- defrosting the hamburger for dinner, getting the soccer outfits washed for their game, what I am making for dinner. The guilt of working out sometimes keeps me from wanting to come here but my husband reminds me that I should go and workout. I always feel better afterward." Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. We all have this voice of self-doubt, our inner critic. I too have been guilty of this. Instead of focusing on the positive aspects of ourselves, we beat ourselves up and feel guilty. For some individuals, these thoughts ultimately interfere with reaching orgasm during sex. This voice might be telling you that you’re not good enough. But what really matters is whether you choose listen to that voice and whether or not you believe what it says. Most of us have hyperactive minds. Regardless of what we’re doing– eating, driving, or brushing our teeth– our minds are elsewhere. We think about what others may think, feel frustrated about our performance, or fixate on all the tasks we need to accomplish by tomorrow. Having a constant train of thought is normal for most adults. It’s often difficult for us to focus on the present moment. For instance, when was the last time you focused on your breath? Mindfulness is being aware of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and environment in the present moment. Being mindful means accepting thoughts and feelings without judgment. It involves letting go of thinking that thoughts are ‘wrong’ or ‘right’. By practicing mindfulness the focus is on our senses in the present moment instead of replaying the past or picturing the future. Learning to be mindful is difficult. We are not obliged to be doing something all the time or feel guilty for focusing on ourselves. Take a moment to simply be. Sit still or go for a walk. Recognize that your thoughts and emotions do not define you. Curious minds want to know: are you able to let go of your inner critic and live in the moment? If not, does it interfere with reaching orgasm or feeling intimately connected during sex?  |
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Interfere with reaching orgasm? Hardly! Feeling intimately connected during sex? Yes, I feel it is certainly an issue for many, myself included. Your wisdom impresses me, significantly. And while I respect and admire your insight, I must also acknowledge the importance of having the kind of support that your husband supplies. Good for you! Thanks for the mindful post.  Anything done half-heartedly will net you an equivalent result. ~CH
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9/26/2015 10:13 am |
i used to have to think or overthink everything.ok this is my plan but if this happens or that,then i should do this.my mind would race at all the planning and what ifs.but then a close friend i worked for,hell i spent more time with him and his family than i did my own,for sixteen years his wife and kids was a huge part of my life.well he got cancer and past away and my world fell apart.but something good came out of it.i act and react with life now,but i do still go into deep thought when dealing with other people especially with my goddaughter,who is the one person i truly look forward to seeing now a days
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Think I best get some more sleep. I'm spreading stupid like butter on hot toast today! Anything done half-heartedly will net you an equivalent result. ~CH
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Being mindful does take some work, lots of practice! "To Be Consumed" Blog : I want to be your drug of painful withdrawals.
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I can't answer the question regarding sex, but I can tell you I'm in a constant conflict in my mind. To much to do and trying to prioritize is my biggest issue. My mind is always at work, even in my dreams. It would be nice to get back to sex dreams and sex would be nice too.
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Good blog.
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I have been practicing mindfulness for almost two years now and its been an eye opener
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