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Blogs > AK_Snowflake > Growing up Kelly

Here's a question for you  

AK_Snowflake 48F
787 posts
6/16/2014 9:31 pm
Here's a question for you

I had mom time on Saturday and we had a pretty deep discussion about my current state of singleness. We were talking about a man I fell for that met all but three items on my impossible list of what my Mr. Perfect must be.
The one that was a huge discussion was the sexual compatibility. We are not sexually on the same wave length. Now keep in mind this guy and I are no longer together but I have wondered many times if he said he was ready; would I say yes?
Mom says she thinks it's a deal breaker because I would eventually look elsewhere for the sexual chemistry. WHOA! My mom said I would cheat. I would like to think that would not be the case however the sexual aspect is in the top five must haves.
If you met a person that on every level met your dream person except the sex would you adapt? Mind you I am asking those that are want monogamous relationships.
Maybe you are in a relationship like this. What is your experience? If you are a sex everyday kind of person and your partner is a sex 2 times a week and on weekends is that okay? What if they did not give oral sex? Ever. What if they only wanted sex in the morning and you're an anytime kinda person?
Is sex really a reason to pass on someone that is otherwise perfect for you?

ak_bigbadwolf3 51M
2630 posts
6/16/2014 11:12 pm

 As someone who has broken bread with you. I think so, I adore you as a friend but I have a feeling that more of the good stuff and everything on your list is yet to come.
Don't compromise yourself! You are all you've got!


cocolove132 57M/43F
119 posts
6/16/2014 10:31 pm

 If you are struggling with sexual incompatibility now, it will only deepen over time. It will turn into a resentment that you carry with you that will spill over into other areas of your life and relationship. Unless you are both willing to truly change and compromise, this will be a relationship killer. Few things are as tied into our self image and psyche like sex is. It can build or destroy relationships, bring you closer or drive you apart, it is a very important part of any relationship and being on the same page, or at least being close, is core. I can deal with clothes on the floor, differing political views, a toilet seat left up, etc. but I need my man to sexually fulfill me. Physically and emotionally, it binds us. Just my opinion.
Kisses,
Coco Love
"A hard man is good to find..."


AK_Snowflake replies on 6/16/2014 10:52 pm:
I appreciate the outlook. Since the guy and I are no longer together it is more something to ponder than to really worry about. The chances of us getting back together are very little. However having been single for the better part of 7 years and not settling it was something to think about.

Snozog 64M/60F
545 posts
6/16/2014 10:23 pm

 the reality is the sexual aspect evolves and changes with time. reduced frequency and slowly losing certain aspects can all be lived with as long as there is love and sympathy. The hope of course in that situation is that the partners can come to a compromise and find way to meet the more needy partner needs.
Snozog's Blog ................. Sexy Alaska Swingers Group ............… Alaskan Playtime Parties Group
What is better than Roses on your Piano? Why Tulips on your Organ of course!


AK_Snowflake replies on 6/16/2014 10:53 pm:
Compromise is the most important thing here. Thank you!

rm_yesmaam6970 53M
782 posts
6/16/2014 10:13 pm

 Sex may be a reason to pass on someone....depends on how critical it is to you. For me it is essential, without the right sexual chemistry nothing else matters


AK_Snowflake replies on 6/16/2014 11:00 pm:
Even if everything else about the person was perfect? Kinda like buying your dream car but it's missing cruise control...

ak_bigbadwolf3 51M
2630 posts
6/16/2014 9:33 pm

 Sounds like moms is a smart cookie. If your not happy with that aspect would you ever truly be happy even if all the emotional, economic and stability factors fall into place if your not satisfied would you honestly ever be happy if it ment never to giggle.
Don't compromise yourself! You are all you've got!


AK_Snowflake replies on 6/16/2014 11:01 pm:
Good point but if all other needs are met; emotional being the best one? Would I get tired of that?

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