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| Blogs > WhoreMILF > My Daily Sex Log |
Big Plastic or Small Meat?
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Big Plastic or Small Meat? Hubby took advantage of it being a little overcast and not a million degrees to go get in a few rounds of golf, leaving me to go find some action. Hubby's got me on a leash, so I have to have a babysitter/bodyguard so I don't get into trouble. Today's guest babysitter was Sarah, and that opened up the FMF possibilities very nicely! Although, last time she chaperoned me, she broke up a perfectly good fucking in the ladies room of a sports bar just when I had the guy at my mercy. Some jealous bitch called security instead of joining in, and Sarah came to my "rescue". This time I made her promise to join in or stay the Hell away until I got what I wanted, so off we went. I had slipped on my new Shorts. They're short, fake leather, but really pretty nice. They have a zipper in front, but the zipper actually goes all the way down, under my pussy and back up my butt so that the waistband is still intact, but the legs separate and fully expose my pussy and butt to any hungry dick that may want to find its way in. Perfect for a quick fuck in the middle of the street. The Galleria seemed like a good starting point, but I made a wrong turn and had to loop around to Richmond and back. On the way, we passed an Adult "Bookstore" and I couldn't resist checking it out. Sarah's not much for porn DVD's and toys, but she had to follow me in. It was her job. We had great fun looking at all the outrageous stuff and making jokes about their uses. There was a mddle-aged guy - about late 40's - kind of dweeby but REALLY well dressed, and I guessed the AMG Mercedes parked outside was his. He seemed to be mesmerized by the dildos and vibrators and was picking through them like I pick through tomatoes at Kroger, searching for the right one. Sarah thought he looked like a budding mass murderer, but I figured frustrated, horny old geek was more like it. I decided to tease him. "Looking for something special?" I asked, trying to sound all sultry and mysterious. "Trying to find something new for my collection." "Collection?" "Yes, I like to have a variety available for when I'm entertaining a lady." Sarah nudged me and whispered, "This guy's a weirdo, lets go!" I was fascinated, though. What kind of guy has a COLLECTION of dildos and vibrators? Maybe Sarah was right and he was a weirdo, but he seemed harmless enough. Naturally, I ignored her. "Show us?" He grinned like a at Christmas and asked us to follow him. He lived about two minutes away in one of those new hi-rise condos that are springing up like mushrooms. He led us to his private parking and then almost all the way to the top - up with the High-Roller apartments. Classy! The apartment dripped of money. Designer shit everywhere, and real oils hung on the walls - no lithographs or prints here! But definitely a bachelor. No feminine touches at all. Or maybe it was just his fuck-pad. "So where's this amazing collection?" His bedroom was huge for an apartment, and had two walk-in closets. He opened the one nearest his bed, and it looked like we were back in the porn shop. A few odds and ends and what looked like a fold-up massage table, but 90% dildos and vibrators. Dozens! maybe hundreds! Every size, shape, color, and some with shapes that made me cringe, but my pussy tingle. "Which ones would you like to try first?" Presumptious little old fart, isn't he? Again, Sarah nudged me. "Wierdo! Leaving!" Again, I ignored her. I still needed to find out WHY all the fake dicks. "Show me your favorites." His face lit up and he went through them like he was showing photos of his , holding them out towards me and stroking them gently like they were prized posessions. He had a shelf with loooooong rubber ones with two ends. I thought, COOL, one end for my pussy and one for my butt! Slick! I felt really DUMB when he said "NO" like I was retarded, and explained that it's for two women to use together to fuck each other (He said 'make love'. So quiant). Hell. How am I supposed to know? I never use these things. Hmmmmmm. Sarah and I could make good use of that one! Although I like my idea, too. "OK, we'll try some, but then you have to tell me something." "WE!?!?!?" Sarah said. "OK Ms.Spoilsport. You can play, or wait for us in the living room!" She wasn't going to spoil my fun today! She let out a "Harumph" and went into the living room. He pulled out the massage table, but it was really more like an OB/GYN table, complete with stirrups and adjustable boards to raise or lower your butt. Interesting. Sick, but interesting. Maybe he really was an OB/GYN. He had the bucks! He helped position me on the table, although I would rather have been in that big, soft bed, and I unzipped my pants to give him a good look. He looked like he was quivering! He ran in the closet and came out with about a dozen different ones of varying size, shape and purpose. It was apparent he wanted to use them on me instead of letting me have a go at it, so I decided to just lay back and enjoy it. He went through a thorough explanation of each one -like a waiter explaning the night's specials - before lubing it up and trying it on me. There was one made of glass that scared me. What if it broke inside me? He let me hold it. It was solid glass and HEAVY. He said it's special heat treated pyrex glass and can't break. It was actually really pretty with all swirly colors throughout it, and knobs and ridges to hit my soft spots. He said it cost over $200. $200!!!!!!!!!!!!! For $200 it had better be magic. It was! He warmed it up and it felt soooooooooooooooo good! It's the first one that made me cum. I wasn't too thrilled with the next two, but then things got interesting as the vibrators took over from the dildos. He used his toys like a maestro conducting with a baton, and really knew how to use them to their fullest ability. He'd obviously done this before. When I asked him to raise the table so he could use two and DP me, he turned so red I thought he was going to explode. But the ear-to-ear smile told me he liked the idea. He used the magic glass one in my butt and worked my pussy and butt with more skill than guys could ever match with a real dick and, even though I knew they weren't "real", I started to build towards a great orgasm. As he went through the first collection, he vibed me a few more nice, rolling orgasms. When he was done, I asked him to get one of the double-ended ones (he called it a "Double Dong"), and he brought out five ranging from about a foot long to one monster that was about three feet long and thick as a soda can. It reminded me of the dicks in Orchard. I picked a mediun sized one to start, got on the bed, pulled off my pants altogether, and called out, "Sarahhhhhh. Oh, Sarahhhhhhhhhh. Come Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrreeeee." She came running in like the place was on fire. "WHAT? WHAT? Are you OK?" "Chill, girl." I waved the big double dong at her and said, "Come play with meeeeee. Pleeeeassseeee!" She just frowned, turned around and went back into the other room. Bitch. OK, now it was my turn. "OK, you've had your fun, now tell me. Really. Why all the dildos?" "I told you. For my ladies." I whacked him on his balding head with the dong. "Bullshit! No. REALLY! WHY?" He looked like he was going to cry. "I have a really small penis." "So?" "Women won't make love to me because it's so small. This is the only way I can satisfy them." He was in full tear mode. For Christ's sake, Man Up! "Show it to me!" "No, I can't. You'll laugh." I whacked him on the head with the dong again. Hard. "Don't make me punch your lights out! SHOW IT TO ME!" He started to undo his pants as slow as possible as if he was trying to get me to give up and go away. "Oh, Fuck! Here!" I ripped his pants and boxers down. He wasn't kidding! His dick was like a cocktail wiener. About two inches long. Again, Mr. Wimp started to tear up. "See, I told you. Now go away and leave me alone." He started reaching for his pants. I dong-whacked him on the head again. Really hard. "STOP!" I figured here was my one chance to do something good for a change. Totally selfless. Even a little altruistic. My one yearly good deed, then I can go back to being a self-centered bitch. Maybe God will be watching. It was like rubbing a finger as I stroked his tiny dick. It instantly started to get hard and grow, if you can call it that. It ended up about the size of a hot dog. Almost. His wimpering changed to heavy breathing and moans as I stroked. I was curious to see what a dick that small would feel like to suck, so I hit the floor, gave it an all-around lick, and sucked it in. For a second I felt like a molester sucking an 8yo's dick, but his balls were actually normal sized, and it felt good playing with them and licking them as I held his dick in my mouth. You can't really call it "deep throating" when it doesn't reach your throat, I guess, but it was probably the same to him. His knees were buckling and he held onto my head to support himself. I felt he was close to cumming, but I wanted him to at least get SOME pussy, so I got up and led him to the bed, shuffling along with his pants still around his ankles. I laid down and spread my legs as wide as I could, knowing that he'd need every advantage to get some penetration with his mini-dick. He built up really fast, and I knew he was cumming so, for the first time in my life, I faked an orgasm. I'm usually so orgasmic, I cum at just the thought of a good hard dick, but truthfully, I could barely feel him inside me. I've had guys put bigger FINGERS inside me! So, I faked it. He needed a little ego boost, and I figured this was my penance for all the evil shit I've gotten away with. I "Ohh'd" and "Ahh'd" and bucked as if I was being rammed with the world's biggest dick and he came in me with a shudder that had probably been building up for years. Mission accomplished! But if he started to cry again, I was going to rip that little dick off once and for all! He was all like gushy and thankyouthankyouthankyou and genuinely seemed relieved that he had actually fucked someone. It turns out that except for an occasional , he'd only had sex TWICE in his life. Once in high school, and the girl laughed so hard at him, he didn't even TRY again until he got drunk in college and found a girl equally drunk to let him have her. That ended in disaster too, so now he doesn't even try. Not even with the hookers. He just beats off while dildoing them. Or in his case, flicks off. Sorry, that was bad. Anyway, I got my shorts back on, zzzzzzzzzzzzipped up, rounded up Sarah who was asleep on his couch (some bodyguard!), and headed out. Before we left, he was like "If there's anything I can EVER do for you, anything you ever need, etc., etc., etc., yada, yada, yada." and hands me his card. HOLY SHIT! I recognized the name right away. His dick may be small, but he is a MR.Big in Houston! All of Texas, too! You can't hardly pick up the newspaper two days in a row without seeing his name in it for something. HOLY SHIT! Talk about having a Guardian Angel, or "get out of jail free card" or sugar daddy, or whatever! I could probably set off a nuclear bomb downtown and he could get me off. HOLY SHIT! Sometimes it pays to be a WhoreMILFSlut! On the way down in the elevator, I showed Sarah his card, and she almost peed her pants! She was so excited, she started jumping up and down in the elevator and I thought we'd get stuck. Then she was like, "Let's go back upstaris! I want to fuck him, too!" "Sorry, Ms.Spoilsport. That's what you get for not joining in when you had the chance. Next time I tell you to fuck someone, just do it!" When I told Hubby what happened, he was like, "Suuuuurrrreee, Suuuurrreee." But, when I showed him the card, with his cell # written in by hand, HE wanted to go back and fuck him too!" LOL! LOL! LOL! Anyway, I was kind of proud of myself for giving him a good fuck BEFORE I knew there could be something in it for me sometime. Life was good today! Weird, but good! Join my 4F Club: Find 'em, Fellate 'em, Fuck 'em, FORGET 'EM! |
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definitely interesting!
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I enjoying reading your blogs,but have a question.--Is Sarah always so stand-offish?
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8/8/2008 8:44 am |
Big plastic. Small meat would suck...well why don't you use the big plastic and suck on the small meat!?
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its nice to see when good deeds get rewarded!
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was he J R Ewing?
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8/4/2008 12:21 pm |
 Baby you never seece to amaze me!! I always believe in good karma!! and a good fuck. Now as for hubby being protective thats a good thing and great that you have great friends like sarah to accompany you. Always remember my motto!! read below!! I now have a new goal to catch you and sarah out and about.  Play hard, play safe and play often!!!{=}
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Hello there, while I applaud your generosity to the poor man, have you ever thought how you would feel, if your pussy was only the size of a finger and you could not have sex, it is not his fault he got the wrong end of the stick. And yes, I am in the same boat as him, and you and all the other women have no idea at what damage you do to men when you laugh and belittle them about their lack of size, so next time just please take a minute to think what it would be like to be the man's shoes....
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