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| Blogs > itzchic824 > The Voices Inside |
Here we go again - exercise day 1
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Here we go again - exercise day 1 I've made a few entries about exercising and that This time is it and it never was. But it wasn't for lack of trying. I watched what I ate and exercised at least 5 nights a week after work. But I kept gaining. Well it wasn't until last spring when I went to my regular doctor that I found out why. She was concerned about my weight as it was getting dangerously high. I was too and was so discouraged that my exercising, which I pushed myself to do most of the time, wasn't helping at all. So we talked about my diet and she came to the conclusion it was the depo shot. I had been on it for a few years at that point and when you first go on it you are expected to gain no more than 15 pounds. Well, every 3 months when I'd go get my next shot I'd have gained 3 more pounds like clockwork, but I always thought it was bad diet and lack of exercise, until I changed all that and still it kept creeping up. She told me I needed to get off the shot for the sake of my health. It was kind of a shock and no I don't want to, cause I loved not having my period. But I made the decision that my health and loving my body was more important. My last shot was Sep 2013 after 4.5 years of being on it, so my first missed one was end of Dec 2013. I was reading horror stories online of periods taking up to 18 months after the first missed shot to come back and then so many women never stopped bleeding until they went back on it. Going back on is not an option for me. I'll skip over the details, but I got my period this month, one day was a bit alarming, and then once it was done I had this fluid constantly. Like when I'm horny and want sex, but way more. It soaked my undies and was so annoying. I think it's finally (after 2 weeks later) slowing down, thank God. Anyway, enough of the background, my point of this post is for the first time in awhile I exercised. I worked a 10.5 hr day on 5 hrs of sleep, was exhausted and ready to sit down and relax but instead I made myself come home grab my ipod and go for a walk around my neighborhood, which is mainly a hill. It took me 21 minutes, which doesn't seem like a lot but I was racing darkness since I get home not long before dark right now. I know I have to keep my heart rate up to burn the calories so I was doing speed walking down the hill and around the bottom. I slowed down coming back up cause my body fights me with the hill. I hate the feeling, but I know I need to do it. Once I got back home I felt a sense of accomplishment. Not only did I exercise for the first time in a long time, I did it while ready to go to sleep. I did get a second wind. My legs, however, are loudly complaining the treatment. Oh well, they better get used to it. I'm going to try to walk at least 5 nights a week after work. My downfall is doing too much too soon and get irritated. I used to walk farther, but that was before I gained all this damn weight. Losing the weight is for me, no guy who doesn't deserve me weighing less if he can't like me now. I feel trapped in my body, I can't stand it. I want to feel good about myself and sexy. The woman I want to be and feel like doesn't match who I see in the mirror. I don't need to be skinny, but I'd like to drop a few sizes, which I have ample room to do. Also, losing the weight has to do with my health. I can develop diabetes cause it runs in my family if I don't get this under control. Plus I'd like to not get out of breath so easy. The heavier you are the more your body fights you when trying to be active. But the heavier you are, the more active you need to be. It's a vicious cycle. I also have started eating right again. I never went back into a total relapse of sweets and junk. I did try to watch what I ate, but now I'm more concious about it. I cut out the coffee, which at work I drank 2 cups a day with tons of cream and sugar. Now I drink 1 cup a week, usually on my longass shift. I also have stopped buying sweets in general. I never ate much and half would usually get thrown away anyway, but now I won't even buy any at all. I have been making a concious effort to keep fruits on hand as a snack instead. Plus I've been buying Kelloggs protein shakes as breakfast in the morning. I'm hoping since the shot seems to be leaving my body due to my period coming back, that I'll be able to lose weight now. I don't expect a lot at once, but a steady decline of a pound or two a week would be welcome. Just enough to keep me motivated. Also it would be in my best interest to lose the weight I gained with the shot as quickly as possible. Depo is stored in the fat, so the quicker this weight melts off, the quicker depo will leave my system for good. I'm hoping this time exercising will produce results and I can make this stick. I sent an Angel to watch over you last night, it returned in a hurry. I asked why, it said "Angels can't watch porn." Thanks for fucking traumatizing my fucking Angel! Don't bother trying to figure me out. Not even the little voices in my head understand me. It's pointless! |
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good luck. i'm a regular gym goer. i swim, lift weights and i want to start bike riding. anyways, all i just want to say is just keep at it. try and be consistent. the more consistent you are, the more exercise becomes a habit and a part of your regular routine. exercise, eat healthy, drink PLEnty of water and get enough rest... i'm happy to hear your doing this for yourself and for your health. Continue with the good work! When I'm good, I'm great, but when I'm bad, I'm even better...
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Good luck there. I am at the gym regularly if I am not on the golf course. All I can say if you don't want to go to the gym just go and do something light. Getting there is half the battle. It is good for you too. Keep up the good work as I know it isn't easy. hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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