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Blogs > rm_DevilCharmZ > RidiculouslyIdioticMind

MAD.  

rm_DevilCharmZ 47M
Ask me for a photo
1467 posts
4/20/2014 7:03 pm
MAD.

Less than 15 mins to go before I'll need to leave my house... Think I'm going crazy? Nobody really thinks about what I need... It's always about them...

Don't tell me that I'm crazy, tell me what am I suppose to do instead...? Good advice pls. Not just saying things for the sake of saying them, nor saying just once again the things you people WISH to say or WISH I would accept... I'm crazy. Think I'm just going crazy....

CHANGE. Is it for the better or worse? Or perhaps it's just a CHANGE... No 'better' or 'worse'....? Just NEEDS and people trying to tell (deceive?) you that it's truly not necessary (because they ain't you). I can see it happening already... How much do I need it...? So so much.... Do you know I've almost longed for it for half my life....? Think not too many people can really understand... Not that they want to... Not that they need to... There are just more 'convenient' things for them to do.... I'm BALANCED. Perhaps it really better just the way things are now...? Perhaps it's not....? I guess if it happens, it'll probably just come as a 'surprise' which is not surprising at all.....

Didn't wake up for work this morning. The alarm didn't come off. Had it switched off last Friday because it was a public holiday and forgot to put it back on. To be very honest, don't even feel like going to work today.....

I think for all my life I've been 'designed' for this 'change'... Just that I've unknowingly ('needingly'?) changed the factors... Could have been better if I haven't changed anything, but no matter... There are so many misunderstandings in life, even the way we try to interpret it...

Less than 10 days to fly off and I think I'm 'prepared' yet not that much prepared.... It seems like there're still much I've not done...? I don't know.... Maybe it's just putting the pieces together...? Maybe it's just 'unusual' this time...? Maybe too many things in something which is suppose to be relatively straightforward or simple...? Or maybe it's just the 'change' happening....?

Nothing has been changed in the house. Not like I wished to.

I know more changes would need to happen... More $....?

I need to be brave. More courage. Expect more things threw in my way... But I really want it to happen...

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