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| Blogs > __Crusoe__ > For what it's worth |
“All’s fair in love and war” ?? : the politics and pragmatism of adult dating
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“All’s fair in love and war” ?? : the politics and pragmatism of adult dating It’s probably reasonable to state that the majority of individuals of both sexes who use sites such as this are not expecting to find soulmates or prospective marriage partners, but that they are still operating in an environment that is a fertile breeding ground for jealousy, desperation, doubt and suspicion. For the purposes of this post, I am not including the pure hedonists amongst us who simply wish to copulate as randomly and frequently as possible with all-comers: the gang-bangers, the sex party enthusiasts and the doggers, or – to a certain extent – even couples who seek to add new flesh to their existing repertoire now and again. I’m really referring to people who, like me, operate on their own and prefer 1-on-1 “adult dating”, which may involve a meeting of minds as well as bodies, and – as a result – a degree of emotional investment, however small. I’m not particularly fond of the term “no strings attached”, partly because it seems to imply that we are divested of any kind of responsibility, but also because any form of sexual contact actually *creates* strings, even though the degree to which they bind two people may vary considerably depending on the “neediness” of each individual. On the face of it, though, when posting our profiles, we are making ourselves open to er....“offers” on the proviso that we are free agents with no obligation to “shack up” on the strength of a night in the sack. It’s probably not a sweeping over-generalization to say that women tend to be more hard-wired for commitment than men, and that men perhaps tend to look back over their shoulders less frequently than women when walking out of the bedroom door. However, I think both sexes have an equal capacity for possessiveness and suspicion, and I’m sure that – unless they are very level-headed – neither is immune to feeling a “pang” of some sort if they suddenly discover that the person with whom they were noisily and enthusiastically sharing bodily fluids a couple of weekends back has in the meantime acquired a new “testimonial” from someone else  So…… to all you individual “adult daters” out there: to what extent do you regard yourself as a free agent? Are you perfectly philosophical about the extremely limited likelihood of finding fidelity on a site like this? Do you automatically acknowledge that any person you date is likely rutting away willy-nilly elsewhere? Would you feel compelled to confront a recent sexual partner about his/her activity on the site, or – on discovering a new testimonial from a recent partner – be devastated to such an extent that you would realize this site is not for you and delete your profile in despair ? In other words, how “sophisticated” are you about adult relationships? Are you basically “old fashioned” at heart and secretly hope to find your Sir Galahad or your Sleeping Beauty? Or are you happy to go with the flow, and take it all as one big adventure?© Crusoe 2014  |
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I believe people are truly monogamous animals, given the fact that these sites grow and "dating sites" pretty much become like this site before shutting down. That being said, you will still find the few people looking for love in all the wrong places, the middle of the curve just wanting some excitement thrown into their day by dirty talking and pic swapping, and then on the end of the curve are creatures like us who truly use this site for what it is, to try and randomly find an encounters of a sexual and passionate nature. I truly enjoy an encounter for what it is, a place in my time line that I enjoyed or sampled, and moved forward looking for new and different experiences. The online dating world as we know it would be easier to sift through if people were more in tuned to who they are and what they really want.... would definitely make the sifting easier for myself and others of the same cloth.
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I think sometimes you get tried of searching for a hook up and find it easier to get a lover. I don't think anyone will tell on here they are looking for a long term relationship, but there are a lot on here looking for that. I think it is easier to find someone who like the same things sexually that they like on here so the hope is there for a long term relationship
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