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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Can you get maternity stilts at Wal-Mart or do you have to special order them ?
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Can you get maternity stilts at Wal-Mart or do you have to special order them ? Suggested listening - "There Will be Nights When I'm Lonely" Possessed by Paul James Suggested cocktail - Lemon drop The graphic on my my Pro Wrestling Guerilla shirt is starting to get cracked . Sad face .  Also now that they have black gems in the game what the hell am I supposed to do with all these blue gems I've been collecting ? Its almost like the 127 hours I've spent playing this game were a complete waste of time . I went to the burlesque show this weekend and there was a burlesque lady (burlesquer ? burlesquette ? ) on stilts . I wasn't that into her because although she did have a great body her hair wasn't to my liking an I found her heavy eye make-up to be off putting . But she was on god damn stilts - you have to respect that . You have to . NOW . Which got me thinking , could someone have sex on stilts ? I think you could , but it would be tricky . I don't think anyone HAS since if they had you know what shit would be on the internet . Obviously you could do something like this ;  But I would say that wouldn't really count - which is not to say that wouldn't be awesome , but it would , but really only the dude would be on stilts in that scenario . Same goes for Love's Arrow , which can anyone even do that ? if so , kudos . Point is I am announcing 40Deuce's $64,000 Stilt Sex Challenge . If you post a picture or video of stilt sex I will give you a copy of Green Arrow #33 which based on current appreciation will be worth $64,000 someday . There was also a burlesquing type person who was pregnant - which was totally hot because , as you know that's kind of my thing . Which also leads me to announce 40Deuce's $177,000 Pregnant Stilt Sex Challenge . I think I like pregnant ladies because my brain says - they can't get pregnant again , go to town buddy ! But its not even true . Granted the chances of impregnating a woman who's already pregnant are astronomical , but still . The dude at the burlesque show had a joke that was pretty funny . "What's the difference between two dicks and a joke ?" "Amy can't take a joke ." Amy was the host of the show you see . I LOLed out loud . In other news is there anything worse than when someone does something really nice for you and you can't reciprocate ? Yes , lots of things , but it still sucks . Lets say that someone gives you a massage , and they know what they're doing - they have a massage table and friggin' oils and everything ! And then when its over you paw at them awkwardly like a bear trying to save a crow from drowning for like 7 minutes before your hands cramp up like a loser in hour 7 of a masturbation contest and you quit . "But 40 , its the thought that counts ." Bullshit . People need to stop saying that . If you have sex with someone you have negative a billion orgasms because its so awkward and gross and they're dripping sweat in your face the whole time does it matter that they wanted you to have 15 orgasms ? Actually yes , but not very much right ? If I light some candles to make sexy time sexy (because fire is erotic right ? ) and I burn your house down is it really the thought that counts ? No . It is not . And to make matters worse than that person gives you oral satisfaction (with the mouth) and you can't turn the tables on that either because they don't like your unsophisticated cavemen tongue techniques . Its like being behind on all cards going into the final round of a fight - you know your only chance is to go for the knockout but do you know how friggin' hard it is to knock someone out who's only goal is not to get knocked out ? Pretty hard (like my dick) . Of course in the pantheon of problems to have I suppose "I got a massage and a blowjob" probably aren't super high on the list of ones that are likely to solicit sympathy . But still . In other news its my birthday today . Remember that time I jokingly posted in this very blog that since it was my birthday all the women should send me nude pictures (of themselves) and then was confused and aroused when a bunch actually did ? And then the next year on my birthday I was all excited to get the nude pictures and instead everyone was like "We did that last year , fuck you pal ." Truly life is a mystery .  So here's my problem with femdom (porn) . I like it , but often time there's no intercourse which is a bummer . And a lot of times there's foot stuff which is gross . And a lot of the time its obvious the dude is just going along with it - I like it better when its a bigger lady (like Siri) and a slight fellow , where its somewhat believable that if it didn't get with the program she could beat him down . Which is twisted , but there it is . And here's the larger problem , when I'm on a site like Kink after a while I just want to see some normal sex . But then when I'm on a site like Brazzers I want to see some freaky stuff . Where is the porn site that has it all ? Man , my problems are not real problems . Hooray ? Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I agree with intenda, you could always do something else nice for that person...like, say, climbing on their roof to clean out their rain gutters (and no that is not a euphemism! at least not for me. I should probably cook up a fantasy about a hunky guy from the rain gutter cleaning out service and finding a sexy way to repay him, because in my book, that counts for even more than say...saving my life).  
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whoops.... and happy birthday!!!
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I believe I gave you a "In Blog We Trust" penny one year for your birthday. Some day, I'll get a lucha libre mask and take a hnw pic in it...just for you! I'm respecting the stilts - totally! Closest I've ever gotten is standing on the couch so I could reach someone tall for a kiss. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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I am thinking of the blog you wrote a while ago after you had sex with a woman who kept saying "Fuck me harder" or whatever it was and that didn't turn you on. Maybe some guys it would. My point is something completely banal like "Different strokes etc." ie why assume your caveman techniques were the issue or even that your techniques are caveman-like anyway. (Leaving aside for now that I totally doubt cavemen would have gone down on their caveladies under any circumstances although I am willing to entertain hard evidence to the contrary if presented featuring attractive cavepeople only. Is there a cavepeople porn genre?) And sorry even I knew when your birthday was I wouldn't sent you a nude picture because I was at someone's house last week where there were mirrors in rooms that had actually light in them (unlike my place which is your basic all chiaroscuro all the time on purpose) and I realized I am nowhere near as hot as I thought I was for a 53 year old, in fact I'm not sure I would even be hot for a 63 year old. That's not really a real problem either though is it.
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