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| Blogs > demonicsexkitten > Life, or something like it |
Can men and women be 'just friends?"
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Can men and women be 'just friends?" OK! Trying to think of what to write for my first post... So here's a question: CAN men and women be JUST friends? When I first joined this site about a month ago, I had just given up friendship with a male friend to save his relationship with his g/f. if she was a bad g/f, i probably wouldn't have cared so much? But she's wonderful and i love her. The main problem with he and i being friends are two-fold: one, he's the first "good" relationship she's had (her ex was/is a TOTAL 'jerk' to put it mildly), and so due to low-self-esteem, she felt any other woman would cause her to lose him. two: he's my ex bf/lover (and never told her due to an earlier promise he'd made me). So in this situation, i can understand there being tensions to the friendship. i had to end it, though, bcuz he was talking in his sleep about a hope of us being 'together' again, and began chatting to me about it too. his g/f heard/read everything, was extremely angry/hurt/etc, and bcuz i DO love both of them, i removed myself from the picture. That caused a severe depression, as he was my BEST friend. and then i started thinking of ALL the male friends i have and have had... from high school till now, every male friend either wanted to go out with me, sleep with me, was in love with me, or any combination thereof. including married friends! but i get along better with men. so what to do? when i want to be able to be JUST friends. i want to be able to be friends without having to be constantly on-guard. Possibly part of the problem is that i'm a touchy-feely person. Very VERY tactile, as my ex told me. "you can't keep your hands to yourself! nomatter how hard you try". male or female, i hug my friends. married or single. i've even hugged a few strangers on occassion, when they really really needed it. |
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I think it is possible, men though sometimes mistake friendship with stronger feelings... it can be tuff.... I have actually had the same thing happen to me, I was friends with this girl once, she was a buddies gf.... then I found out she was telling some others that we were talking about dumping our significant others so we could be together and all this stuff... Well all I can say is don't change and don't stop being friends with guys, just make sure they know that is what it is up front... you wanna be friends? cheers CG t
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7/16/2005 3:11 pm |
Luv, sorry to say,"Society", broad definition, does not permit it. if you're seen with someone from work, a married man, people read negative thoughts into it. ALWAYS!. also Luv, if you're friends with a female friend's guy pal(whatever category) you and he are more relaxed, thus you enjoy each other more; no pressure, so you do start to feel closer, and your friend , unless she's extremely confidant, will soon become jealous, threatened, etc. that association puts both "friend m/f in close proximity to any possible sexual arousal. Many times, physical appearance goes out the window, and the closeness turns into chemistry. you might dance well, good humor, but it is a fact that many m/f liaisons dvelop with partners of close or married friends. BUT society at large,I'm repeating reads negative reactions. And, at work or play, we treat our fellow workers and friends better than our partner or spouse, i.e. politeness, non-arguementive, voice control. Can't happen, or very, very rare. Other comment, many guys will also grasp at any straw and read more into the female friend's actions, touching especialy.
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Jme: that's my next option 
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