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| Blogs > demonicsexkitten > Life, or something like it |
Touch
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Touch Withdrawals. For a brief moment tonight... I was craving touch so badly I physically ached. How do people go years and years without a lovers touch? I'm sure I've done so in the past, so this aching baffles me a bit. Tonight a good (albeit platonic) friend from this site held me. kissed my cheek and my forehead, and ... well, I was curled against the edge of his sofa, and he was full-body hugging me so I was, essentially, cocooned. He held me while his own leg went numb to the point of "dead" Held me through my tears, and calmed me. Then fed me (I'd gone over 11 hours without food), then made me laugh, then brought me home again (Somebody left headlights on without realizing and killed her battery). What I crave is a Lover's touch. But platonic loving friends are wonderful in their own right. I'm such a touchy-feely person. I love to touch and be touched. Once upon a time, I hugged every friend or friend-like acquaintance I ran across. But then it came to my attention some are not so hug-friendly, and are in fact touch-averse, and I didn't want to make anybody uncomfortable or stressed... so I stopped hugging so much. Oddly enough, one of the women I thought was "touch-averse" due to a large number of health issues making it painful to be touched ran up and hugged me last weekend. Seriously: I've heard her tell people she doesn't like being hugged for those very reasons. To those A.F-F friends who now, in the past, and in the future have simply held me when I most needed it: Thank you. Love you guys. 
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To answer your question, after some point, emotional pain, it seems welcome, but over a very long time not having physical touch seems even more unbearably painful.
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1747 mile HUG
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People do need touch... and several commentators have noted the value of healing (non-sexual) touch after emotional (and even physical) trauma. Talk to people who take care of geriatric patients, too -- their patients often put "being touched" as a top request. Even holding a hand offers great solace. Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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I usually try to respond to every comment... but for now I'm just making a single reply. Thank you  For comments, hugs, shared experiences. I need to review my notes but years ago I did a presentation about Premature Birth and Language Acquisition... and if I remember correctly "Touch" helped a lot with that too. There is a woman in Oregon that started her own "Touch" business. She charges by 30 min or 60 min sessions, rules clearly laid out: clothing always, no inappropriate touching, etc. Lay in bed, cuddle, caress, sometimes in silence and sometimes they talk. I read about it this week.
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Touch is SOOO important. I'm almost always touching a lover or partner when I'm with one, but even with people I don't have a love or sexual relationship I find I'm always wanting to hug or caress. Google Reid Mihalko, Monique Darling and Cuddle Parties. I've been to at least a dozen of theirs, including at my home in San Diego. They are non-sexual gatherings where clothes stay on and all boundaries are respected, and everyone learns the language of consent. As Monique says, we each want to be in our "Hell Yes" to touch, and anything less is "No". If there isn't a cuddle party facilitator in your area, contact Reid or Monique and maybe the'll do one, and you can become a facilitator too.
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